Orwellian iSpy

Orwellian iSpy – Who is they?

Assuming the World is not key word digitally monitored is an extreme Orwellian denial. Just posting this text on the weblog creates key words that can be bot flagged up by snoops. My profile content and avatar have given the game away.

Whois Umpius and his digital DNS. Damnation that wordpress gravitar they made me complete has compromised my privacy.

Purging history and cookies is also futile because the residue and snippets are instantly harvested by all of the web crawlers and search engines.

By reading the newspapers online all my activity through my IP address is easily monitored, what pages I have read how long have I browsed the content.

Phone hacking? Pah! Small cheese. Leveson inquiry double pah! I suspect my cloud drive and dropbox is an open book. That Francis Ford Coppola film The Conversation started it all.

Is my operating system a supergrass?

I assume a network of spy satellites monitor the globes e-traffic through an already available network of other telecommunication satellites. They crawl and trawl data provided by information from towers and nodes then report back to a CRS-X core router and then process my lifestyle onto an ISP intelligence server.

My humble operating system freely pimps out my supposedly secure privacy in a rich text query to a snoop’s super computer every time I update any of my system. My CPU chip is in cahoots with snoopies crawler bots. My browser, plugins and the drivers are all the equivalent of a digital Bertie Smalls and reveals my data willy-nilly.

Do you really think that your actual fingerprint is not downloaded and stored on a snoops system and shared amongst intelligence analysts? Do you use a smart phone or any touch screen device? Are you naive enough to think that a snoop cannot listen to you or see you utilizing your own smart gizmos? What about your kindle? Your habits and lifestyle are an open book.

PRISM is the new game in town with BLARNEY working upstream mining your private data provided by the www hacked servers.

Probably my digitally coded DNA script is remotely interrogated by a metadata crawler bot algorithm that possesses a firewall cloak which accesses key words, phrases and conversations in any language. Nobody is actually sitting at a screen digesting my evil intent.

The artificial intelligence analyses trends in my probability based lifestyle it is then automatically collated in beautiful code and compiled by superb math which indexes the encrypted information away until analytical hierarchy parameters and risk criteria qualify me to go on a remote watch list, and there was great rejoicing by the tall white men.

iPhone Supergrass

iPhone Supergrass

Searching Google about Abu or maybe the commando Anne Hathaway wardrobe malfunction? To late amigo; I am under surveillance. Anne instantly generates an awesome 476 million search results. Who is watching me watching her? The awesomely powerful search engine finds my tagged key word metadata by me just typing two names.

Did I send this contentious subject matter to any of my contacts through email, twitter or facebook? Did I telephone or text someone about this or anything else that voice and speech recognition software will convert into text and flag up key words to the snooping fraternity? Curly, is it a keyword?

Did I mention what a lovely dress she was wearing? Her gorgeous legs and that immaculate red nail varnish. Did I chat on Skype about her hairstyles?

Sending a picture also has a digital signature. A picture is transferred by code. Did I zoom in on her shoes? How about using the post office and putting my subversive material in the Royal Mail system, they would not steam my envelope open; would they?

Cross dressing on Facetime using my iPad or iPhone has been sussed by the tall white men at MIT.

My digital actifry has revealed my chip diet to some skinny, spotty, geeky, snoop; bloody hell four more metadata key words.

I was contemplating buying some online attractive discounted lingerie from Grace Brothers using my credit card details – Yikes!

I think I will drive to Grace Brothers instead. Hold on a minute I must not use the Sat Nav and I suppose I should turn the mobile phone off so that it cannot be tracked.

Good grief my SIM card can be interrogated electronically even when it is switched off. My mobile can be traced by anyone who has the mobiles IME serial number. They have a record of my iPhone purchase and contract it is registered online.

They who is they? Be afraid, very afraid in cyberspace nobody can hear you scream obscenities. Or can they? My webcam is switched on has it been hijacked by trogan malware? Oh! Nooooooo! I have a smart television with Skype connected and hand gesture control.

Blast! I also have a tracker installed in my car in-case it is stolen.

I have a solution I could use the bus and walk to Grace Brothers. Drat! I have no loose change and I must not use my Oyster card because it has registered information embedded on it. Okay then I will walk there carefully avoiding the Police, TFL and private CCTV surveillance.

Umpius disguisicasWalking the streets of London wearing a hoodie will have Cameron chasing me around to hug me. Acting like a pleb will raise suspicions about my Boris bike ruse. I need a cunning disguise.

How on earth do I avoid the security surveillance inside the store? How can I pay certainly not with my credit card that would also reveal my shopping habits?

Cash that is what I need and off I go to the ATM. Curses can they monitor the connection? Yes, for they are the secret people.

It may be beer is best. But we are the people of England; and we have not spoken yet. Smile at us, pay us, pass us. But do not quite forget.


We all use the wireless internet.



This is the reason why the pseudo-algorithm is flawed

This is the reason why the pseudo-algorithm is flawed *Bubble size indicates traffic


After studying the way I am monitored by the Orwellian iSpy snoops are you a believer?




About Umpius

I retired and moved to the Costa del Sol in 2003 and I now live in the Jalon Valley which is in the Costa Blanca area.
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