Desert Island Discs
You are asked to choose which eight pieces of music you would take with you if you are a castaway plus a book and a luxury item. If you are a distinguished person you would also need a copy of your podcast nowadays.
The chances of finding something to play them on would be slim. No internet café to listen to them on youtube on your lonely island.
Could this happen in real life?
How on earth could you play your favourite music with no power supply on a desert Island that you find yourself marooned on?
Imagine you are sunbathing on the ships deck toasting your back while doing some sunbed dancing listening to your favourite music on your iPod and reading that bestseller on your kindle then bam! Your captain has run the ship into a reef.
The call comes over the tannoy “abandon ship!” You panic and forget to chuck into the life raft a portable generator and fuel to run it for a few years. What if you forgot the iPod charger connector or worse still your earphones?
In years gone-by you could have been washed up on a beach and the only things you chose for survival were eight music choices in a format that you would never be able to listen to. What are the chances of finding a gramophone or a pair of DJ decks and mixer amongst the wreckage? Your music choices could have been on old vinyl, CD’s or maybe a flash drive. What if you only managed to salvage a cassette and it was a bad pirate copy of k-tel’s DJ’s greatest hits?
Knowing my luck I would find and salvage a jukebox with a generator and fuel to run it. But I had been shipwrecked with my eight choices on LP’s.
I suppose I could trim them down to a forty five rpm size using the sharp edge of a broken coconut shell. But as they are recorded on long play they would be utterly useless. One of my choices had been – Born under a bad sign by Cream.
“Born under a bad sign.
I’ve been down since I began to crawl.
If it wasn’t for bad luck,
I wouldn’t have no luck at all.
Bad luck and trouble’s my only friend,
I’ve been down ever since I was ten.”
Would that book or picture mag you always wanted to read be all soggy and the print ruined? If you were born under a bad sign did you lose your reading glasses during the evacuation? Was the book you chose Das Boot, but the edition you took was the German language edition?
What about that luxury item, a minced pie? Not just any mince pie this was an M&S luxury mince pie smothered in brandy butter. Would it still be edible after a soaking in salt water and being half eaten by a tiger shark that had just ripped your undercarriage off?
Another problem I can envisage is that if you had the ability to listen to your eight rescued choices they would drive you insane listening to them over and over again. The same would apply reading a shark ravaged book with most of the pages missing. Perhaps not with a smudged glossy magazine.
The luxury item would have to be something to make life more bearable. Is this a choice that women could find proves to be an impossible task? A pair of shoes for example would not be an item and therefore could not be permitted by the strict rules of being a desert island castaway.
A man may choose something like an Aston Martin to caress and care for. How long would the petrol last? Could it run on a green bio fuel with a low carbon footprint such as refined coconut oil. Would it be practical with no roads or four wheel drive? Should you have chosen instead a luxury medical pack for your mutilated cream crackers?
What if the music turned out to be someone else’s castaway choices? Would you want to survive after listening to them once? Whose bestseller would tip you over the edge? What if the luxury item was a used adult toy?
So the main idea is to be hip and sophisticated and appeal to your audience. Researching Ed Miliband’s choices proved to be a demanding task and the result was – Fail.
Do the choices have to be relevant to one’s lifestyle or occupation? Should you include a few fibs and put in a few classical tracks that you have never listened to before?
The book I suppose should show off my knowledge of the whole contents of the local library. Should the choice of book be relevant to the situation of being a castaway? The adventures of George Milton and Lennie Small springs to mind or perhaps. “Ha-hAAR! Jim Lad.” I obviously have struck gold with this one I could capture a parrot and name him Captain Flint and go in search for his masters treasure buried by buccaneers. Damn that blasted shark for eating my leg off.
I have decided my luxury item is going to be a top of the range iPad Air with five hundred pounds of credit for additional apps and purchases. The reason for this as my choice is obvious it will have a locator that will provide the coordinates of my desert island to the rescuers that I send an email to.
It will also keep me in my own lifestyle mode. My iCloud will provide me with up to date news from the Sky app. I could read the newspapers online, watch my film collection and also listen to music.
I can take photographs and record video’s of my castaway experience and update my blog. If I get bored I can play solitaire or any of the other games that were already downloaded.
My Thai dishes will be a snip using the recipe app. I would be able to cook so many types of tropical fish curries using coconut oil and milk. “Mmmm! Guppy curry.”
The book that I have chosen is the bumper Christmas edition of Viz.
Should my music choice be different if I was marooned at Christmas time?
Here we go:-
Looking for some other choices to pick from?
Did you enjoy my castaway related Desert Island Choices?