Benefits4You


The rules of the game are simple

 

The bank has now been re-named the Treasury

 

 Benefits4You

The playing pieces have a diverse choice.

Pieces:-

  • Gypsy
  • Person in a Burka
  • Somali Pirate
  • Chav
  • Al-Quadi Terrorist
  • Pregnant Woman
  • Taliban insurgent
  • British Passport
  • Banker
  • Brussels bureacrat
  • A tax payer
  • White transit van

The object of the game is to empty the BoE (Treasury)

The winner is the person who has the most money at the end of the game.

What happens if the game ends too quickly?

To continue playing the game the Treasury may be granted a loan from the IMF. Certain conditions apply to the interest rates applied to the loan such as the credit rating agency forecast on the triple ‘A’ sustainability of the economy. (Game)

Or you go to any good toy shop and purchase some extra bundles of game cash. This is called quantitative easing. (QE2)

You cannot apply for a PayDay Loan from any other player.

Selling the BoE gold reserve is not an option that is available because that numpty Gordon flogged it all off for nowt.

All houses and hotels are purchased under the right to buy scheme.

Utilities can only be owned by a foreign company so choose your playing character carefully.

If your piece lands on the Mosque and it is Ramadan and you must fast and pray until on your turn you throw a six on a single dice. You may pay the preacher £500 towards a Taliban Charity of his choice to continue.

When you land on Streets of Gold you can throw only a single dice until you exit past the Croydon Social Services Office. If you land on the office you must pay the owner rent.

If you own Croydon Social Services Office. Job Centre Plus and the Border Agency. You must pay the owner double the rent.

If you own the Electric & Gas Company and also the Water and Sewage Company you must pay the owner double the rent.

If you go to detention more than 3 times. You have to pay an extra £500 to the Treasury for your up-keep every time you go back to detention.

 

 Chance Cards

 

Chance-Card

 

Advance to job Centre Plus. If you pass Go collect £200

Make general repairs on all your properties for each house pay £25 for each hostel pay £100.

The insurance company find out you have been making false claims for burglaries that did not happen. Pay a fine £250. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Take a trip to Job Centre Plus Office if you pass Go collect £200.

Advance to Streets of Gold.

You have been elected chairman of the board. Pay each player £500 in a brown envelope.

Advance to Croydon Social Services Office. If you pass job Centre collect £200.

Advance to Go. You have won a season ticket for Millwall Football Club collect £200.

Advance to Go. You have won a season ticket for Arsenal Football Club collect £100.

Advance to the Border Agency. If un-owned you may buy it from the Treasury. If owned pay the owner twice the rental to which they are otherwise entitled.

Advance to the nearest utility. If un-owned you may buy it from the Treasury. If owned throw the dice and pay the owner ten times the amount shown.

Get out of detention free. This card may be kept until needed or traded.

Go back three spaces.

Go to detention. Go directly to detention. Do not pass go. Do not collect £200

The boards Chief Executive awards you a bonus for poor yearly results collect £500.

Treasury charges you overdraft fee. Pay £150.

Treasury charges you for two letters about you not paying income tax on time. Pay £100.

Your building loan matures collect £150.

Your Treasury goes under during another credit Crunch. Pay an extra £500 income tax.

Your pension Fund requires topping up due to a collapse at the Stock Exchange. Pay £500.

Speeding fine £750

Re-assessed for Council Tax pay £1250

Travellers dump rubbish on one of your properties. Clear up bill pay £750. If you do not own any properties you must pay an extra supplementary council tax £945

Incapacity benefit is stopped after you are caught running marathon the court fines you. pay back £1500

Borders Agency catches you marrying a Somali illegal immigrant. Go to detention and pay fine £50

Borders Agency catch you at a random immigration swoop at Stratford Station your passport is found to be a fake and expired 10 years ago. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. On your turn you have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

You are caught by Borders Agency working in a Burger Bar without a work permit. Go straight to detention until you throw a double six. Do not collect £200.

You are caught by Borders Agency working in a Chinese takeaway and it is discovered you are an absconder. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Your application for staying in Britain even though you were caught stealing electrical goods during the riots has been approved. Go to Streets of Gold

Your application for Asylum has been granted. Go to Streets of Gold

You are caught by Borders Agency working in an Indian restaurant. It is discovered you are a bogus Asylum Seeker. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Job Seekers over payment collect £250

Your appeal hearing failed because the judge did not believe your defence lawyers argument that you would be tortured by the Taliban if you were deported back to Poland. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a pair of sixes to leave detention.

Your Swiss bank account is discovered by HM Revenue and Customs. Pay a fine £1500.

You are caught by police shoplifting while on an ASBO. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Social Services find out you have been making false claims for 4 children that you did not have. Pay a fine £500.

Your planning application for a Mosque is in your back garden is refused. Pay back Legal Aid fee’s £600.

You have to pay your fellow students rent and food money. Pay each player £100.

You appear on crime watch due to being grassed up by someone on the telephone hotline. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Get out of Mosque free card. This card may be kept until needed or traded.

A Preacher spots you drinking alcohol in a Finsbury Park Public House. Go straight to the Mosque. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave the Mosque.

You are fined for no MOT. Pay £100.

You are fined for no Car Insurance. Pay £100.

You are fined for no Road Tax. Pay £100.

You are fined for not wearing a seat belt. Pay £100.

You are fined for 2 front tyres being bald. Pay £120.

Social Security send bailiffs to your house and confiscate all your electrical goods and wheelchair after you are seen by a Social Worker on television running around with a trolley collecting goods after winning a supermarket sweep. Pay a fine £100.

Your claim for a new washing machine drier dishwasher hob oven microwave etc. is approved collect £2000

Doctor approves your disability benefit for life for your in growing toenail. Collect an extra £200.

You have just arrived on the back of a lorry from France and you need an urgent operation to remove the taser spikes from your backside. Collect £1000 compensation from the Police.

You lose your stock of marijuana from the squat due to a police   drugs raid. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

You have been drugged by someone spiking your drink at a rave party. You wake up in detention. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Police catch you fitting a scanning device at a cash point. You escape. Go straight to the Mosque. Do not pass Go or collect £200.

Police fine you for urinating in a public place. Pay fine £80.

You are fined for a public order offence for fighting in the kebab shop. Pay £60.

You get a refund of overpaid Income Tax from the Inland Revenue. Collect £200.

You get a Tax demand from the Inland Revenue for underpaying Income Tax. Pay £200.

You have not paid the paper bill for your glossy magazines. Pay £15.

MI 6 are looking for you. Go straight to the Mosque. Do not pass Go or collect £200.

Tube Inspectors catch you travelling without a valid ticket. Pay a fine £100.

 

Community Chest

 

Community-Chest

 

Advance to Job Centre collect £200.

Treasury error in your favour collect £200.

Doctor’ fees pay £200.

Child Benefit. Collect £100.

From the sale of looted goods you receive £500.

Dependant’s allowance. Collect £100.

Get out of detention free card. May be kept until needed or traded.

Go to detention. Do not pass GO. Do not collect £200.

Income tax refund. Collect £100.

The Border Agency arrest you for having a false passport while working at the Home Office as an analyst in MI 5. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

It is your birthday. Collect £1000 from each player.

Life insurance matures. Collect £100.

Pay hospital fees £1500.

Pay university fees £9000.

Receive £25 consultancy fee.

You are assessed for street repairs. £40 per house £115 per hotel.

You have won second prize in a beauty contest collect £10.

You inherit £100.

You win a prize on the lottery. Collect £10.

Holiday fund matures receive £100.

Incapacity Benefit you receive £150.

Backdated job seekers allowance you receive £450.

Income Support backdated you receive £750.

Your married couples pension has been cut. Pay back £2500.

Council Tax Benefit. Collect £375

Housing Benefit. Collect £250.

Maternity Allowance increase collect £1000.

Child Maintenance payments for 7 children. Collect £700.

You receive a Health in pregnancy grant £190

Statutory Maternity Pay. Collect £250

Community Service Order. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Heating Allowance. Collect £1000.

Disability Living Allowance. Collect £100.

Pension Credit. Collect £50.

Attendance allowance. Collect £50

A local cleric hears you singing the British National Anthem. Go straight to the Mosque. Do not pass Go or collect £200.

Housing benefit. Collect £200.

Jobseeker’s allowance. Collect £5.00p

Legal Aid for Human Rights Court case. Collect £5000.

Interpreter for Jobseekers interview. Collect £500

Independent Living Fund. Collect £100

You have won free night in a brothel pass GO and collect £200

Multiple Fathers maintenance payment. Collect £350.

Fraud Investigation by police results in your conviction by the Crown Prosecution Service. For your false accounting. You lose your job at the Treasury and pay a fine of £300.

You get a days pay for working for a gang master on a farm. Collect £25.

You receive money in hand from a private gardening job. Collect £125.

The Borders Agency catch you working in the Halal butchers. Pay fine £200. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Human Rights judgement awards you a rent free house in Kensington. Collect £10,000 for furniture.

Go Back to Job Centre.

A Court sends you to detention for not paying parking fines. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Carer’s allowance. Collect £10.

You lose your job as an MP due to making false expenses claims. Go straight to detention. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. You have to throw a six on a single dice to leave detention.

Income support. Collect £100.

You are injured during a high speed chase in a stolen car. The Police pay you £200 compensation for a whiplash injury.

Tax Credits. Collect £100.

You are fined for no Driving Licence. Pay £100.

You are coshed to kingdom come by riot police at a G20 protest. You claim damages for your injuries and win your case in court. Collect £500.

Your pet rottweiler savages your neighbour’s cat. Pay £250 compensation for vet bills.

You are caught not wearing your burqa by the Imam. Go straight to the Mosque. Do not pass Go or collect £200.

Oyster Card payment from Social Services. Collect £75.

Example of the Title Deed

 

Example property card

 

 

 

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