Umpius Grumpias (Humpyus – Grumpyass)


Umpius Grumpias Home Page


Hello and welcome to my blog Umpius Grumpias about an expat from England who is now living in the beautiful Jalon valley which is located in the Costa Blanca area of Spain. I hope that you enjoy your visit and perhaps find time to comment on the content.


OrwelliousOrwellian iSpy

Assuming the World is not key word digitally monitored is an extreme Orwellian denial. Just posting this text on the weblog creates key words that can be bot flagged up by snoops. Continue reading →



Desert Island Beach-TDesert Island Choices

How on earth could you play your music with no power supply? Continue reading →





Cmdr. Whale-TJames Whale

It is great news that James has started a new show ‘The James Whale Radio Show’   I believe the broadcast will go from strength to strength as the format evolves. Read more→



Fungus Junkie FoodsJunkie Foods

Good grief! Products that are labelled as being made from high quality ingredients such as beef turn out to be the remnants of black beauty from some far off knacker’s yard in the back of beyond. Who can the consumer trust? Continue reading →



Local High Street-TSave the High Street

How many times have you driven past local shops having smelt that lovely aroma of freshly baked bread? Would you have bought some jam doughnuts or chocolate eclairs whilst getting your crusty seeded twist? Read more →



Eat or Heat-T

Energy Price Fix

The big six energy companies hide their charges by bamboozling customers with various tariffs and offers. When you are brave enough to switch you end up paying through the nose to another supplier. Continue reading →



Trust the watchdog

Trust the Watchdog

Perhaps Mr Cameron should do away with tradition this year and draw up a list of those who will be losing their titles? The announcements would bring glad tidings and cheer to our depressed big society in these troubled times. Read more→



How to become a successful bankruptHow to Become a Successful Bankrupt

Target your potential market do your research thoroughly ask other bar owners why they are empty? Disregard any advice they give you. Your urge to fail in the shortest time possible should not be prolonged. Read more→



Smelly Fred & auntie JoyceSmelly Fred and Auntie Joyce

The sun started setting. Smelly wets and holds up a finger to test that there was no breeze. He gives the crowd the double thumbs up conditions were perfect. Read more→



A day at the beachA Day at the Beach

‘Come on you three hurry up or we will never get parked. We will end up parking right up the top of the hill and have that long walk back.’ Read more→





Right here we go! The comparison web sites have been trawled and after a detailed analysis of the special offers the lowest price for the standing room one way, no frills flight for my DIY booking is only £4.99p. Continue reading →



To Flip or to FlopTo Flip or to Flop

Some grey mullet surfaced gasping for air in the surrounding water and jellyfish were spinning around like tops. This was not due to my foot quenching but the hoards of people relieving themselves in the shallow waters. Read more→



Dogs & doggie food bagsDogs and Doggie Food Bags

Okay granted! It is bad manners if a dog does eat food off someone’s plate whilst they are eating it. But the poor things rarely see a piece of fillet steak at our table. Read more→




Dating QuestionnaireDating Questionnaire

Please answer all the questions truthfully. Click here to review the questionnaire.





Dead MP's walkingDead MP’s Walking

For my main residence please read above and add ₤10000 but please note the necessary additions I am claiming for are fundamental for my future work on behalf of my constituents. Read more→



The Grinning VulturesThe Grinning Vultures

‘Good afternoon Madame what a lovely day to go and view some of the remaining bargains we have left. Do you mind if we have the top down. Very nice, but I meant the roof of the car!’ Continue reading →




Readers might not be aware about the rampant greed displayed by the ‘Masters of the Universe’ some have got away with a lottery sized fortunes at the expense of the taxpayer. Read more→




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